Amazon Strategy #1:  Guys, Don't Even Bother Coming Home
Written by Mario Lanza on 02.17.03





"I think you had eight guys believing in themselves a little too much."
-Butch Lockley





Oh my goodness.


That's the best way to start off my first column of the new season. Oh my goodness. Seventy minutes of trash talking, followed by the guys getting trounced by the girls in a relay race. In the world of Greek tragedy, this is known as "hubris," the fatal pride that leads to ones downfall. But it was a great episode overall.  It was very thrilling, if a bit... well... humbling. Put it this way, as a guy it was tough to watch. But it was great TV and that's all that counts. I predict we will never have a first episode as good as this again, and I hope the rest of the season can keep up this level of drama and excitement.


Normally I use my first column to make my initial thoughts on the players, and how well I think they are going to do in the game. I will do that again here, but first I have to make a couple of comments. There are a few things that I want to bring up.


First off, I've heard from a few female fans about this episode, all of them expressing shock that guys behave that way when they are hanging out with other guys. Do guys really act that way when girls aren't around?? Well, the only similar situation I can compare it to are the many baseball teams I played on when I was a kid.  You see, I played baseball for years, all the way up to the college level.  I have been on many road trips, I played on many teams, I stayed in team hotel rooms, I hung out with jocks, athletes, meatheads, etc. And I can say, without a doubt, that yes, this is absolutely the way that guys talk when girls aren't around. In fact, I bet they severely toned down the Tambaqui members' comments for TV.  I bet 75% of the stuff that was said, they couldn't show on the air. I bet that probably a good half of each day at Camp Tambaqui was spent with the guys discussing Heidi or Jenna's anatomy, in great detail. And as for the outrage over all the sexist comments, puhlease. Of COURSE a team of guys is going to talk like that.  Of course they are going to belittle the girls, and make fun of them. When we wrote "All-Star Survivor: Alaska," we had our all-male team do the exact same thing.  And, much to my surprise, we got flak for it.


"They're too misogynistic! They wouldn't talk like that! Why did you have to make them so unlikable!"


Well, sorry, but that's just kind of what athletic, young, type-A males do when they get together. Guys can be nice and civilized when it counts, but it is generally for one reason: To impress girls. If the girls aren't around, then it's right back to normal. So yeah, it was kind of over the top how it came off on TV, but keep in mind that the guys here weren't really doing anything that was all that out of character. The only one who seemed to be playing it up to the cameras was Rob, everyone else seemed pretty sincere and their comments seemed pretty heartfelt. Roger, for one, seemed to absolutely believe everything he was saying.  And so did Daniel. And if you watch closely, it was actually Dave who made one of the first comments about the male team superiority. Dave, the same guy who later scorned all the "macho overconfidence" and told them all to shut up. But even he was taking part in it at first, calling the men "the favorites." It just goes to show you that even the more intelligent and educated and mature guys can get caught up in the whole male vs. female thing when they are in this type of situation.


Can the guys possibly recover from such a huge blow to their egos? Will they have learned anything from the experience?  Well for starters, if there is ANYTHING that can teach guys like this a lesson, it is a loss in a physical challenge. Guys simply don't lose a sporting event to a team of girls and forget it. For all the strides in gender equality in athletics and amateur sports that have been made throughout the years, most male athletes still pretty much operate under the credo that you are never supposed to lose to a girl, ever. As a basketball coach once said to me when I was a kid: "You shouldn't even play against girls, because it is a no-win situation. If you win, great, you beat a bunch of girls, and you better have won by a lot. But if you lose... man, you better not even show your face on the court the next day."


I think that sums up the mood of Tambaqui pretty nicely right now.


So, what will happen now?  In a perfect world, you would think that the guys would learn to respect their opponents, and to take them seriously. You would hope that they will talk with glowing respect about the Jaburus now, and the guys will begrudgingly admit that, yes, the girls were a strong team too. And that the girls are fierce competitors.  But I'm guessing it won't happen. I'm guessing the comments will get even worse now. Heidi's breasts will still be a major important focal point around Camp Tambaqui. Nothing will really change. Guys never change. Better get used to it.


A second point to make is on the survival skills of the respective teams. The guys seem to know what they are doing for the most part. Roger and Butch seem to have created a pretty decent shelter, and everyone on the guys' tribe seems to have worked fairly well together. Other than the loss in the immunity challenge, Tambaqui actually did have a pretty good episode. As for the Jaburus, on the other hand, they are hurting. Their big immunity win over the guys helped mask the fact that they have no shelter whatsoever, and there is no apparent prospect that one is actually going to get built. This is going to be a major, major problem for them in upcoming weeks, when the storms and nature and the bugs hit. So I'm not really sure what is going to happen here. It is entirely possible the Jaburus WILL get something built, but it is also entirely possible that the producers may have to step in and help out somehow. I will give them the benefit of the doubt for now, since Deena and team DO have some hard workers on the tribe, but it is looking bad for them. Team skills are very important, and morale is very important, true.  But eventually you will need some sort of a home to live in.


Or, as I said to my wife, the girls won the challenge but they aren't going to live very long to enjoy it.


A third thing to bring up is something that was omitted from the episode. There were no short bio/intro clips of the players! You know the ones I am talking about, the little intros that each player gets when we first see them. "The Ogakor tribe consist of... Tina Wesson, a 39 year old nurse and mother from Knoxville, Tennessee." They didn't have anything like that in the first episode! Now, to the hardcore online Survivor junkies and fans, such as people who read this column, I'm sure this isn't that big of a deal. But (as much as many online fans will hate to hear this), we online junkies are a rather insignificant piece of the Survivor fan base. There are millions and millions of Survivor fans out there who don't read the websites, who didn't watch the Amazon promo CD from Saturn, and who have never seen all the audition tapes. They just tuned in for the first time on Thursday and they had no idea who any of these people were. So yes, personally I think it was a terrible move to omit the short bio clips. How do most viewers know who Rob is, or Christy? How does anyone know where Jenna is from? Or what Jeanne does for a living? CBS gave no hints or clues about any of them. I think they should seriously consider bringing those intro clips back next season. I think they are an absolutely necessary part of the premiere episode, to allow the viewers to know the new players right away. Otherwise, the players are nothing more than strangers. They are just names on a screen.  And you can't root for people you don't know.


And okay, my fourth little note is bound to be controversial, because it is the exact opposite of what most people are saying about Christy. But okay, here goes. Let me take a deep breath.


Christy is definitely one of my favorite Survivors in a long time. You see her and you listen to her confessionals and you IMMEDIATELY root for her. I have never seen a player come out of the gate with as much likability as she has. You WANT her to win. Even me, one of the bigger cynics in the world, I WANT her to do well and to win this game. She's great. But that being said, Jaburu really has no obligation to go out of their way and make her feel at home. People are making a big deal that Jaburu isn't helping her to fit in, but I think they would be fools to actually do that. And it must be incredibly frustrating for Christy, because she is being pushed away right off the bat, and it isn't her fault. She is already being marked for extinction, and she really can't do anything to stop it. Her tears are genuine, her isolation is real, and her complaints are very valid. And she isn't being a whiner about it, either, she is simply stating the truth. They aren't letting me fit in, and it sucks. But it all comes back to one simple truth about this game, which is a lesson we have learned over and over and over throughout the years:


Survivor is not a nice game.


Christy is clearly being pushed to the side, and it is because they want her to be first one off.  If you go back to John Raymond from last season, he gave a very poignant quote as to why he was kicked off at the end of the first episode: "If people start talking about kicking off John, and your name isn't John, it starts to sound like a great idea." People vote out of fear at the start. That's just what they do.  No one wants to be first one to go, so if there is an easy target, it is MORE than easy enough to just go along with the mob. I think Christy is clearly marked for execution already (although I think Janet will beat her to it, because of her illness.) And what is happening is that people KNOW Christy is marked for execution, so no one wants to be near her. It is almost like a plague. You get too close to the deceased, and suddenly you show up next on the hit list. So I don't blame people at all for not going out of their way to make friends with her or help her fit in.  It is a cruel game. Remember that Survivor is, at heart, a sociological experiment. It is a study of how societies form. And one of the tenets of sociology is the one of natural selection. Those with weaknesses will be pushed to the side. So what Christy is experiencing (and has experienced in life) was bound to happen in a game like this. From the point of view of the rest of the team, she has a very serious weakness, in that she can't communicate at night. If you are trying to win this game down the road, it will be that much harder if you were aligned with her over someone else. As a strategic player, you are basically giving yourself a handicap if you pick her over someone with whom you can easily communicate. It sucks to see that in print, but it is the truth. Survivor is not a nice game. And few people are out there for humanitarian reasons. I hate to go into Richard Hatch mode here, but if you are playing this game, you have to remember that the other fifteen people are your opponents, not your friends. If they have weaknesses, it is your job to exploit those weaknesses the best that you can, to ensure YOUR success. If there is an easy first bootee, damn right you are going to do your best to help get rid of her. Just as long as that next boot isn't you, that should be all that counts.


I truly thought that being on an all-female team might help save Christy, because I figured that women would be more likely to men to try and help her out. But that doesn't appear to be the case at all. This game is about self-interests, and it always has been. Male or female, the teammates don't make a difference, people all think the exact same way after six seasons.  They are all looking out for themselves.  So don't blame the Jaburus for what they are doing, because any other tribe (male or female) would probably treat Christy the exact same way. She is a "Get out of jail free" card. She is a freebie vote. They all know this, and because they all know this it makes the game less stressful for everyone involved. You can even see it in Heidi's speech: You mean the first vote won't be a mystery? Sweet, sign me up!


So Christy, I am rooting for you. You have a heck of an uphill battle though. The entire nature of the game is working against you, as well as the nature of societies in general.  And that is a huge battle I wouldn't want to see anyone have to face. You will need some luck on your side. A lot of luck. And hanging out with Deena is a good start. You two could both use some allies, and soon.


Okay, on to my initial player notes. I write these every season, and then I come back to look at them after the season ends, to see how close I was. Here are my predictions as to how well these players are going to do this season. Oh, and don't expect it to be male vs. female for very long. It's a fun gimmick, but I have no doubt we will see mixed gender tribes soon.


Shawna Mitchell
In my pre game notes, I wrote that she seemed insignificant. Oops! I was wrong on that one, she is clearly one of the major female players. She is strong, she's a good interview, she is funny, and up to this point she seems well-liked. The males seem to like her too (but over Heidi? Over Heidi?? Are you insane??) Shawna is gonna go far, she has far more charisma and personality than I anticipated from her bio. The only drawback I see, from my end, is that she is a bit Seinfeldian: She is a side-talker (she talks out of the side her mouth). That gets annoying kind of quick.
Prediction: Major player, but not the winner.


JoAnna Ward
I think JoAnna is going to be the heart of this game. I predict she and Jeanne will be the center of the Jaburu tribe. Watch the scene again where the two of them go fishing. It's kind of boring scene, but it is there for a reason. JoAnna is tall, she is strong, she is likeable, she is respected, and best of all she is a good source of strength for the tribe with her faith. Plus watch the immunity challenge again where Jeff talks about how they are going to go from EIGHT, to FOUR, to TWO, and down to ONE. When he says "one," they show a picture of JoAnna's face. Is this a clue? Could be! We don't know JoAnna all that well yet as a player, but as one of the stronger (physically) members of Jaburu, she can pretty much write her own ticket to the merge. They are going to need her.
Prediction: Possible winner.


Christy Smith
I wrote about Christy earlier, and how she already seems to have been marked for early dismissal. Basically she is getting the John Raymond treatment. Or the Debb Eaton treatment, if you prefer that analogy. Christy is my favorite member of the female trtibe and I really, really want her to do well. But she probably won't. If she were smaller or a better athlete, she would have more of a chance, but I think she has obstacles far too great to overcome right now.  I think she is doomed.
Prediction: Voted out early


Deena Bennett
Deena is the tough, strong leader of the Jaburus, although it is yet to be seen whether that role is going to work against her or not. Personally I think a female tribe will be more forgiving of a bossy personality than a men's tribe would, so she will probably be okay for a while. I like Deena, she seems to be one of the few Jaburus with an idea of how to build a shelter and what they need to do out there. If they are going to succeed at the survival part of the game, Deena is going to have a lot to do with it. But all that being said, I don't see her as much of a long term player. I think she will do as much as she can to help them out at the start, and then she will either be picked off around the merge, or around the time of a twist. Because the guys won't necessarily have any use for her if she winds up over on a mixed tribe. One saving grace I possibly see for Deena is if she can make a religious bond with the older players on the team (particularly JoAnna.)
Prediction: Early strong player, midgame bootee


Jenna Morasca
I said it in pre game, I will say it again. The females won't want to keep Jenna around. Her best chance at survival is a twist, or being pulled over to the other tribe. She seems to have no survival skills whatsoever, although to be fair she was right in there when the Jaburus were building a fire. She isn't lazy, it appears she at least tries, but washing their buffs and their underwear in the drinking water was just ridiculous. Hopefully Jenna will be around later so we can ask her how important clean underwear is after 30 days. Another negative about Jenna is that her arms can't possibly be any skinnier, she really can't handle to lose any weight. Jenna is weak but she is also a wild card.  If she stays on the female team, she is toast. But if she goes to the male team, they might just all flock around her because she is beautiful.  For now I am basing my prediction on her current situation, but she definitely has a more open-ended future than some of the rest of them.
Prediction: Early bootee, unless she switches teams. But in any case, not the winner.


Jeanne Hebert
Jeanne was one of my pre season picks to win the game, and I see no reason to change that now. We don't know a whole lot about her yet, but she seems well-liked, she seems like a hard worker, and she definitely came off as a "mom" to the rest of the team. Like JoAnna, they are going to need her. Jeanne doesn't appear to be in the best shape out of anyone, but she certainly didn't hurt them in the challenge either. She even wound up being one of the two puzzle solvers, so it is clear that the Jaburus respect her intelligence. Add to that her job as a company director (good organization and people skills) and Jeanne is going to be a strong player no matter what team she ends up on. She won't be threatening to the guys, and the girls will need her. Can't find a better combo than that.
Prediction: Possible winner.


Janet Koth
Old and sick is a terrible place to be. Whereas Christy was originally marked for the first Jaburu vote, I think Janet will soon take her place. The sick one ALWAYS goes in the second episode, you watch Survivor, you know that!  I think Janet has the potential to be a very valuable member of the tribe, what with her nursing skills and her overall good cheer.  But illness is always a major, major factor in the choice for an early bootee. People like to think of it as a "mercy boot."  I predict that next week the girls are going to do her a favor.  Let's vote Janet out and get her some food and some rest.
Prediction: Bye bye Janet. Second bootee.


Heidi Strobel
Say hello to the star of the season.  I predicted from her bio that Heidi was going to be the sweet, innocent, girl-next-door type, but I think I was a bit off on her. I think she could be as cutthroat as anyone here. She just has that look in her eyes. Add to it her good looks, her intelligence, and her athleticism, and she will be a major, major player in this game. I have never been sure that a female under 30 could actually win Survivor, but Heidi very well might be the first. She has a lot going for her, not the least being that the Tambaquis already all worship her.
Prediction: Possible winner, definite long-term player.


Roger Sexton
Roger avoided an obvious danger zone in the first episode, simply by being the oldest and bossiest guy on his tribe. But he is still here, and that's all that counts. Now that he is past that first vote he should be fairly safe for a while. Roger has been invaluable to the Tambaqui camp thus far.  As a bonus, they also speak of him as an expert fisherman, so that helps. I think Roger is going to stick around for a while, although I can't see him bonding particularly well with the females in the event of a merge of twist. He seems like a good guy though, and I think the worst is probably past for him for a while.
Prediction: One of the first ones out after a merge or a twist.


Rob Cesternino
Ahh, here he is. My preseason #1 pick. And you know what, he will still be #1 in my power rankings this week. I'm particularly proud that I nailed his scheming ways before I even saw him. Yay me! But that being said, alas, I don't see Rob as the winner. He is bright, clever, and funny, and he knows this game inside and out. And if you read my column from last year called the Andy Kaufman Strategy, I would say that Rob has it down pat.  In fact I wouldn't be surprised if he had actually read my column at some point, what with him being a computer guy and all.  In particular, look at the way Rob "acted" surprised when Ryan was voted out, that is almost word for word what I wrote about in my article. Act stunned!  Rob has definitely planned out his strategy ("Look at me, I'm a big goofball who brought along a Magic-8 Ball, don't worry about me!  I'm a dork!").  But his downfall, if it comes, is going to be his eagerness. Rob is so eager to stir up crap, and so eager to scheme, and so eager to be the uber villain, that he is coming off almost a bit desperate to me. It seems like he is scheming and plotting way too early, almost just for the sake of having fun with it.  I am afraid it is going to get him in trouble eventually, because you can't do too much like that, too soon. Eventually the others are going to catch on to you.  Not to mention that Rob isn't really the most physically fit of the bunch, which might lead to problems when you are on an all-male tribe. Rob could -really- use a twist at some point, pairing up with and charming the girls would be perfect for him.

Rob is clearly going to be the most entertaining player in the cast, and I wish him well. We seem to think alike and, hey, he even sort of looks like me, we could probably be brothers. So I already feel a strange kinship with the guy. Hopefully he uses his strategy wisely, but also remembers that he has to lay low at times when the situation calls for it. As always on Survivor, laying low when you need to is the key.
Prediction: Rob is the hardest one for me to call. My mind says that he knows the game well enough to be the possible winner, but my gut says he is probably no better than a jury member. I guess we will see.


Matthew von Ertfelda
Matthew, or MVE as I like to call him, didn't get a whole lot of airtime this week. And you know what, I think that was his plan. If you were lucky enough to see the Saturn promo CD, you would see that Matthew likes to fancy himself as the second coming of Richard Hatch. He is a very devious, very cunning, very cutthroat individual. The fact that he didn't say a darn word in the first episode, that he was involved in all of the building, yet none of the scheming, to me I am guessing that was all intentional. I think THIS guy might turn out to be the big genius villain of the bunch. Right now he is laying low.  Very low. The only thing that troubles me about Matthew is the fact that he voted with Ryan.  It bothers me that he chose his alliance sides incorrectly. That is a bad move this early in the game, although it is certainly not fatal. If Matthew is as clever as I think he is, he will quickly recover and make nice with Roger and the others. And then, if all goes well, it will be game time.

I may be going out on a limb here with this guy, but I think he's got more cards than he is showing us. Put it this way, Rob thinks that he will be the great mastermind villain. But Matthew KNOWS that he will be the great mastermind villain. The two of them can't possibly co exist once they are on to each other. We'll see if I am right...
Prediction: Possible winner.


Alex Bell
Alex didn't say much this week, but he is clearly, clearly going to be around for a while. He has no enemies, no weaknesses, he is likeable, he is good-looking, he is athletic, he seems to be smart, I mean really what more do you want?. Every cast has the one "golden boy," who seems to be good at everything, and Alex is going to be the one in the Amazon. Although I should probably point out that like most of the golden boys in Survivor history, he is probably a little too good to be true. Because golden boys never win. Just ask Joel, Colby, Silas, Gabe, Hunter or Ken. Well, okay, Brian Heidik won, but he was the exception.  So I guess the asterisk here is that you can win if you are a golden boy, you just have to be a serial killer to do it.  Good luck Alex.  I hope you are entertaining, because you are going to be around for a while.
Prediction: Major player, probably not the winner.


Butch Lockley
I like Butch, Butch is great. He fit in far better than I expected he would, and his banner idea was genius. He is a great teammate, and the rest of the tribe is already describing him as a "great fisherman" like Roger, so he definitely brings some value to his tribe. In fact, I predict Butch will have a good run in this game. He's likeable, he's smart, he's not an athletic liability, and he definitely knows how to efficiently organize people (because of his job.) I look forward to seeing how Butch and Roger are going to organize the men's team next week, to see how they are going to recover. Remember that Butch knows Survivor. He is a big fan, he knows how the game works.  And most importantly, he knows which kind of people get voted off first. He has definitely done his homework. As with Alex, a merge or twist will probably not hurt Butch, he isn't going to be the least bit threatening no matter which tribe he winds up on. So keep an eye on this guy, he might not be the flashiest player out there, but he has a lot going for him.
Prediction: A major player.


Daniel Lue
Yuck. Few people have ever had a worse opening episode than Daniel. Not only did he blow the challenge, he also managed to:
A) Piss off the females
B) Piss off his own team
C) Be labeled a slacker
D) Look directly at the camera at LEAST four times (this is a big TV no no.)
It's bad enough that Daniel appears uncomfortable on TV, but he just seems to be lost right now. He's got the Jed Hildebrand "stench of death" all around him right now, where you know he is going early, it is only a matter of time. Daniel is one of those players who looked great on paper, but I think he has already lost the game for himself. Even a twist won't save him, he certainly has no friends on the other side to help him out either.  The girls are already annoyed by him.  So I guess it is just pretty much a waiting game now.
Prediction: The next male bootee.


Dave Johnson
It's Dave, and he's a rrrrrrocket scientist. If you have seen the Saturn CD, you will get that joke, because that's exactly the way that he talks on it. I like Dave. I think he is going to be a very strong player, with very strong morals, and a uniquely strange sense of humor. As I said in my pre season rankings, Dave loves the movie the Big Lebowski, and anyone who likes that movie tends to look at life a little differently than most people. I'm sure it must have been humiliating for a rrrrrrrocket scientist to lose a puzzle challenge, but hopefully Dave can bounce back next week. He is a strong player, but voting for Daniel, and not going along with the herd, is a risky move. I like Dave's ethics, and his morals, and his sense of humor, but he is the type of person who could be labeled a weird loner outcast very early. He has to watch himself, and make sure that he plays nice with others. The "big speech" didn't seem to hurt him though, in fact it may have even raised his standing among the elders.  But it was still a ballsy move.  Dave has to be careful not to stick his neck out like that any more than he has to.
Prediction: Midgame bootee, possibly later.




POWER RANKINGS AFTER WEEK ONE


One week down, and only a few people have pretty much guaranteed that they won't win the game. This is a very wide open field of players at the moment, no one really jumps out as being a favorite.  And there are a lot of directions the game could take along the way as well.  This looks like it is going to be a wonderful season, with a great cast, a beautiful location, and a fun new gimmick. The male vs. female dynamic adds a whole new dimension to the game (as short lived as I expect it to be), and I am already predicting that this could turn out to be one of the best Survivor seasons of all time. Make us proud, Amazonians!

So here is the first of my weekly power rankings. Who is most likely to win the game at this point? Let's see if I have another run of Heidikian luck like last season!


1. Rob Cesternino
The closest I have seen to my Andy Kaufman strategy, plus he even looks like me. When in doubt, I always root for my doppelganger.

2. Matthew von Ertfelda
Like I said, I -really- could be stretching here, but I think he will be the big evil star of the cast. At the end of the game, MVE might be the MVP.

3. JoAnna Ward
I don't know her that well yet, but it is clear that the females need her. In any case, she will be a great source of strength to whatever tribe she winds up on.

4. Heidi Strobel
Solid player, clearly will be around for a while. If she ends up on a guy team via a twist, she has it made. John Carroll said it perfectly this week... he said that Heidi is "Neleh with a dagger."

5. Jeanne Hebert
I don't see a whole lot of 'winner' vibe around her yet, but she should be around for some time. I need to see more of her. Never underestimate the mom of the tribe.

6. Shawna Mitchell
Shawna is a lot of fun to watch. I'm not sure about her cutthroat nature, but she is entertaining and she is definitely likeable. She will clearly be around for a while.

7. Butch Lockley
I underestimated Butch, he is going to be a strong player. He knows the game, and he knows how to get along with people. People will be rooting for him to win.

8. Alex Bell
He is a strong player, but I think he has too much going for him and will be too much of a threat. He should be around for some time, though.

9. Dave Johnson
Dave is the biggest wild card in the game right now. I'm not sure where he fits in with anyone. He seems older than his age, he seems more like Butch and Roger than like Daniel and Rob. It will be interesting to be how his game unfolds.

10. Roger Sexton
Nice job with the shelter and the manual labor, but I think he will really only be needed until the tribes can live comfortably. The females would kill for a guy like him right now, you put Roger over there and he could single handedly save the game for them.

11. Deena Bennett
The female Roger. She is needed for now, but she really, really needs to get some sort of shelter up or she will wear out her welcome very fast. I think she is a short term player at best.

12. Jenna Morasca
She's pretty much eye candy, and will be irrelevant to the plot of the season. And frankly, I don't think her body can even take being out there for very long. She doesn't have any weight to lose.

13. Janet Koth
If she recovers from her illness, she has a fighting chance. But for now, I have to drop her down here. Illness always hits the females the hardest, people tend to write women off on Survivor the minute they get sick. I think she is toast.

14. Christy Smith
As I said, it's not fair, but she has already been marked for dismissal. She needs some major breaks or some major luck to get back in this game. Although I know that I'm pulling for her. As a side note, one of my favorite movies of all time is the basketball film "Hoosiers," and Christy looks like she could be the sister of Hickory star player Jimmy Chitwood. He was a good player, so maybe that will be good for some luck for Christy at least.

15. Daniel Lue
The cloud of doom surrounds him. Stay away! Beware!

















Mario Lanza lives in Los Angeles with his wife and two small children. He was the lead writer of the All-Star Hawaii and Alaska stories, and he loves email feedback. He also hopes he isn't the only one to think the immunity idol looks like the Anaheim Rally Monkey.