The 115 Funniest Things to Ever Happen on Survivor

#89. Jon promises that Sandra's not the winner
Pearl Islands - Episode 2

Jon in his "Sandra won't win" confessional

This one is short but sweet. In Pearl Islands episode two, Jon gets in a fight with Sandra (of course) and then goes to trash her in a confessional. He explains to us that Sandra will never get very far, because he has special plans for her. He would also like to bet a million dollars that Sandra won't be the eventual winner. In fact he even promises us this. Sandra isn't going to win Survivor: Pearl Islands. Here are his exact words:

"We have bigger fish to fry first. But she's not one of the final four. (laugh) And I got a million that says she won't be the final one! (laugh hysterically)"

"I got a million that says she won't be the final one!"

This is one of the all-time great Survivor confessionals for several reasons. Here they are:

A) Jon inadvertently gives away the ending of the season
B) Jon, the main villain, ends up looking like a fool later down the road (which is something all editors love)
C) Jon is extremely cocky and confident at all times, yet he just happens to name the one person who does win in the end.

Jon giggling at the fate of Sandra

When the editors saw this confessional come across in the editing bay they must have been peeing their pants in excitement. "So wait, so we have this little weasel Jon, who the fans are going to hate, and he specifically promises that the winner won't win way back in episode two? And we get this confessional dropped in our laps to play around with? What is this, Christmas morning? Why don't you just hand me an Emmy too while you're at it?"

I always loved that Jon named the wrong person in his confessional as "the player who will never win". He could have named Rupert or Shawn or Burton, and he would have been just fine. But no, by the luck of the draw he managed to name the person who actually did win the end. And it ended up being one of the best early-season Survivor confessionals of all time.

"See, I told you Jon was an ass."

<------ #90

Back to The Funny 115

#88 ------>