The Funny 115

#94. I Aint No Hershey Bar
Australia - Episode 6

It's day 19 in Australia, and the women of Ogakor are starting to go insane.

Jerri lusting for Colby. And chocolate.

Jerri and Amber are starving, they have barricaded themselves in the tent, and all they have done all morning is talk about the desserts they want to eat when they get back home. It's chocolate this... and chocolate that... and the rest of the tribe is starting to get annoyed. They just don't want to hear any more chocolate talk. All it does is make people hungry, it reminds people of what they don't have, and so the rest of the Ogakors wish they would just stop.

Amber and Jerri climaxing over chocolate. Jerri uses the bongo to help.

The most annoyed Ogakor member at the moment is Colby Donaldson, the cowboy from Texas. Colby is standing down the beach, and he loudly tells us at home that he wishes the merge would happen so he can escape the constant barrage of chocolate talk. All he wants right now is to be away from Amber and Jerri for a while.

"Bring on Kucha. Get rid of these goons."

Colby's problem with the girls is actually multi-dimensional. For one, they are just loud. Amber and Jerri haven't shut up all morning and it's currently hurting his ears. The second problem is that they are annoying. I don't have the actual transcript of their chocolate yammering, but from snippets on the DVD, their conversation seems to be going something like this:

Jerri: Hot fudge sundaes!!!!!
Amber: Oh my goddddd, it's soooo good!
Jerri: Chocolate syrup!!!!!
Amber: Oh my godddddd, that too is soooo good!
Jerri: Dark chocolate truffles!!!!
Amber: Soooo good!
Jerri: Mud pie!!!!
Amber: Oh my goddddd, it's soooo good!
Jerri: Chocolate-dipped strawberries!!!!
Amber: I cannot overestimate how good that would be. My god.
Jerri: *orgasm*
Amber: *orgasm*

This conversation is already annoying enough, but the final straw for Colby comes when Jerri starts involving him in her chocolate fantasies. She's apparently mixing chocolate with sex now, because she loudly proclaims that she wants to cover Colby in chocolate syrup and lick his body clean. And really, that's just about enough for the Colbster. In a confessional just a few moments later... he smiles towards the camera with those big white teeth, and jokes:

"I may be a lot of things, but I aint no Hershey bar."

Laughing at his own joke.

Easily one of the most famous quotes in Survivor history.

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