The 115 Funniest Things to Ever Happen on Survivor
#103. Jon lies but he tells the truth, too.
Pearl Islands - Episode 11
I actually hesitated to include this moment on the list because I wasn't sure if I was the only one who thought it was funny. After all, it's not the type of moment that would jump out at you the first time you saw it.
But upon further reflection I came to realize that... damnit... I don't care if nobody else agrees with me. This is one of my favorite Survivor quotes of all time and I look forward to it every time I watch Pearl Islands. It always cracks me up, it always cracks my wife up, and the fact that it is delivered with a thick Mississippi accent is pretty much just icing on the cake.
So welcome, Darrah Johnson, to your very first appearance in the Funny 115. Sorry if you didn't mean for it to be funny at the time.
Darrah Johnson, mortician
The Backstory: Jon Dalton is at a very pivotal stage in the game towards the end of Pearl Islands. He has managed to get rid of Rupert (which is good), and on top of that he has managed to sucker everybody into thinking his grandma just died (which is even better). In other words Jon suddenly has a lot of power. But on the negative side, Jon has also lied to just about everybody in the game, he has two mortal enemies (Sandra and Christa) who absolutely hate his guts, and people routinely call him a "snake" because he can't be trusted. So this is a very pivotal moment in the game for Jon Dalton. He absolutely needs to find some new players he can dupe, and he is lucky to find them when he joins Lill and Darrah on an overnight trip to a local spa.
In other words, Lill and Darrah are the patsies he needs to get himself to the final two.
Jon starts working his magic on the two women at dinner that night, but he eventually ends up zeroing in on Darrah, the cute young mortician from Mississippi. Lill is off pouting by herself for some reason or another (which happens at least twice every episode) so Jon is able to get Darrah alone, and he starts promising her a trip to the final two. Jon makes the offer, Darrah agrees, and all appears to be right in the world. Jon is going to take Darrah with him to the final two.
Well of course we know this isn't true. Jon hasn't told the truth a single time yet in this game. But the funny thing is that Darrah actually falls for it. She knows that Jon is a snake. She knows that Jon lies to everybody. She knows that Jon has screwed just about everybody in the game. Yet for whatever reason she thinks that this is the time that he's actually telling the truth.
Darrah then explains to us why she's going to trust Jon, and in her interview she utters one of my all-time favorite Survivor quotes:
"Jon's a snake, yeah, and he lies. But he also tells the truth, too."
Well no shit. Thank you, Dr. Obvious.
I have no idea why this quote strikes me as so funny, but I swear to God it's one of my favorite moments in Pearl Islands. Jon lies, but he also tells the truth too. Well said.
I asked my wife why this quote was so funny, because she always laughs at it too. I couldn't place my finger on it, so I needed a second opinion. And she explained it this way, "It's funny because the first thing has nothing to do with the second thing. So she's comparing two things (truth and lies) that don't have to be mutually exclusive of one another." In other words it's like saying, "This car goes fast, but I don't like it because it goes slow too." It's just a ridiculous quote all around. Another meaningless phrase would be "This pit bull bites kids in the face, but I bought it because it doesn't bite kids in the face too." See, it's fun to think these up. Another good one would be "Pirates are bad because they plunder and rape. But they also don't plunder and rape too."
Can you come up with any better ones?
Anyway I don't mean to make fun of Darrah. I know the quote just came out differently than she intended it. She probably meant to say something like, "Yes Jon has lied a lot of times in this game. But it's in his best interest to go with me to the end, so I think he's telling the truth this time. And that's why I'm going to trust him, even though I know I might get screwed." That would have been a much more elegant way of phrasing it. But no, in the heat of the moment, she phrased it somewhat poorly and instead gave us one of the most meaningless Survivor quotes of all time.
Jon lies, but he tells the truth too.
Jon's reaction when he saw this quote on TV
P.S. This moment is funny but it's also not funny, too.