Mario's Survivor Writing Archives (2001-2012)
by Mario Lanza
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Mario's Survivor Writing Archives (2001-2012) by Mario Lanza |
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The Funny 115
The 115 Funniest Things to Ever Happen on Survivor - A list that took me about six months to compile and write. Tons of screen caps. Highly recommended! Just click on Chad's picture to begin...
The
Funny 115
version 2.0
The sequel to the Funny 115, featuring new moments from seasons 12-20. This is still a work in progress, but I am adding new entries to it just about every day. Click on Coach's picture to go to the new countdown...
My
Experiences with Survivor
This
is is an essay I have been working on through my Facebook blog, where I
talk about how I got involved with Survivor and how all my projects
came about. I am also going to have lots of behind the scenes
detail of interaction I have had with Survivor players throughout the
years.
Right
now I have 34 chapters posted but this will probably be a work in
progress for quite some time.
All-Star Survivor Fiction
These are stories that I wrote (or was part of a writing team) between 2002 and 2003. They were very popular at the time and I still get email about them almost weekly.
Posted at Survivor-Central, summer 2002. Rewritten and in updated 2008. Set on the forbidden Hawaiian island of Ni'ihau.
Posted at Survivor-Central, winter 2002. Set in Alaska's Denali National Park.
Posted at Survivor-Central, summer 2003. Set in the Pleaides island chain, in the north Aegean Sea.
All-Star bonus link:
4. Poaching Reality: An Online Study
A graduate thesis written by Chris Wright of Georgetown University. My stories are the main topic of his paper. It's a good read!
My Favorite Survivor Columns:
These are my favorite columns I ever wrote, archived from my time as a columnist at Survivor-Central (2001-2004):
1. Mario's Fallen
Comrades Parodies (very
highly requested)
2. The Andy Kaufman Strategy (my most famous column - written in
2002.)
3.
My Trip to the Survivor: Thailand finale (with pictures)
- Part 1 (Breakfast with Rodger) and Part 2 (The Rich Get Richer)
4. Mario's Top 10 Troubling Reality Show Moments (a special column written
for the Fishbowl in 2005.)
5. You Screwed
Me, Now Screw You! - This is a column I wrote
with Brad Wolgast, for a book called "The Psychology
of Survivor." The chapter didn't make the final cut of the book, but I
still think it is pretty good. It talks
about why juries vote the way that they do (and how to beat them).
It is also the perfect chapter to link to if you want to
point out why Russell shouldn't have won.
This book is a compilation of Survivor essays written by psychologists
and famous Survivor columnists (aka, me). I wrote two essays
for the book, "What, how did SHE win??", which talks about why under
the radar females are the most successful and
dangerous players in Survivor, and "The Rise of the Heartless
Mercenary", which explains how Rob Cesternino ruined Survivor.
I also wrote a third chapter for the book, "You Screwed Me,
Now Screw You!" but they didn't want three chapters by any one author
so they cut it. You can find "You Screwed Me, Now Screw You!"
in my favorite columns section above this.
Weekly Strategy Columns:
Here are all the weekly Survivor Strategy columns I wrote while at Survivor-Central. I am trying to build this archive through my own text files and through the Internet Archive webpage but unfortunately it might take a while. Keep checking back and hopefully I'll have more archives built the next time you visit.
| SURVIVOR: MARQUESAS | SURVIVOR: THAILAND | SURVIVOR: THE AMAZON |
| Marquesas Pre-Season Rankings | Thailand Pre-Season Rankings | Amazon Pre-Season Rankings |
| Episode #1: Power Rankings | Episode #1: Jan, Please Don't Pick Me | Episode #1: Guys, Don't Even Bother Coming Home |
| Episode #2: Maraamu High School | Episode #2: Making Jeff Wince | Episode #2: I will ALWAYS put my hand in your face! |
| Episode #3: Rise of the Godfather | Episode #3: Shoplifting the Pootie | Episode #3: Jesus loves Jaburu |
| Episode #4: Boys vs. Girls | Episode #4: To Helen, a Handbasket | Episode #4: Humans 1, Piranhas 0 |
| Episode #5: The Nurse Shark | Episode #5: Dude, Where's My Boat? | Episode #5: I'm a Rocket Man |
| Episode #6: Flushing the John | Episode #6: Dust in the Wind | Episode #6: Shoot the Hostage |
| Episode #7: The Day the Suspense Died | Episode #7: The Phantom Merge | Episode #7: The Rob Show |
| Episode #8: A Judge's Wrath | Episode #8: Drama in the Piss-Cave | Episode #8: Booyah! |
| Episode #9: Rise of the Nobodies | Episode #9: Dancing with C.C. | Episode #9: Attack of the Vee Clones |
| Episode #10: Neleh Fudges Up | Episode #10: Brian's Lost Sheep | Episode #10: The Deaf Girl Took my Letter! |
| Episode #11: Kathy's Choice | Episode #11: You Can't Stop the Terminator | Episode #11: Squish Like Grape |
| Episode #12: You Can Stop Betting on Black Now | Episode #12: My Name is Freeze | Episode #12: 8-Ball Fails to Predict Fire |
| Marquesas Finale: Silent but Deadly | Thailand Finale: See Mario's Favorites (above) | Amazon Finale: Six Votes?? |
| SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS | SURVIVOR: ALL-STARS |
| Pearl Islands Pre-Season Rankings | All-Stars Pre-Season Rankings |
| Episode #1: Searching for Honey | Episode #1: Saboga, You Will Pay! |
| Episode #2: The Goober of the Morgan Tribe | Episode #2: Go to Bed, Old Man! |
| Episode #3: Mercy is for the Weak | Episode #3: Stingray Eats Shark |
| Episode #4: Red Rover | Episode #4: Don't Call Tina a Phony |
| Episode #5: Believe in Yourself | Episode #5: Snuffing the Flame |
| Episode #6: Trish gets Punk'd | Episode #6: Playing Through the Pain |
| Episode #7a: Return of the Living Dead | Episode #9: Server, Crash This |
| Episode #7b: Sometimes They Come Back | Episode #10: Karma Can Be Fun |
| Episode #8: The Calm Before the Storm | Episode #13: Winning by Losing |
| Episode #9: Goliath Falls | All-Stars Finale: Squeal Like a Pig, Boy |
| Episode #10: She's Not Quite Dead, She's Getting Better | |
| Episode #11: Fairplay all the Way | |
| Pearl Islands Finale: It's All Good |
The Survivor Trials
This is a special series of "columns" I wrote during Survivor:
Guatemala, where my friend Matt and I
put each Survivor on "trial" to determine if they deserved to have left
the game. We only ended up doing
six Survivor Trials but I'll try to dig them up and add them to the
archives one of these days.
Special Survivor Links:
This was a new type of story. 16 Survivor fans competed in a Survivor simulation over the internet during the winter of 2003. I wrote the game up into an All-Star type of story. Check it out, it was a lot of fun! Beware though, the story is over 1,000 pages long.
A college paper written by my friend Justin, where he quoted me as to whether Survivor is actually a sport or not.
Miscellaneous Links:
Survivor: Tonga: This is an online game I took part
in during the spring of 2003. It was run by Rafe Judkins
(an actual cast member of Survivor: Guatemala.) The
episodes were never finished nor published but I managed
to get the cast together to write "summaries" of what happened, from
different points of view. It is
a pretty fun read, particularly if you tried to follow Tonga as it
aired at Survivor-Central. If you didn't follow
the story at the time, you won't find this very interesting.
1. Tonga
Summary, Part 1 (episodes 1-4)
2. Tonga Summary, Part 2 (episodes 5-7)
3. Tonga Summary, Part 3 (episodes 8-10)
4. Tonga Summary, Part 4 (episodes 11-12)
5. Tonga Summary, Part 5 (episode 13, finale)
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